How to Resolve Conflict in Marriage

  posted by: Gretchen



Resolve Conflict in MarriageIn every marriage, there are challenges. Couples have to face and overcome them in order to make their relationship work and save their family from falling apart.  If they are not strong enough to take every challenge along their way, they will end up broken leaving their home wrecked.

What are Some Sources of Conflict in a Marriage?  They are the Following:

  • Financial matters:  Let’s face it.  Couples do fight over bills and spending.
  • Kids:  The behavior of kids can also be a source of conflict or misunderstanding.
  • Sex or Physical Intimacy:  This is an obligation to your spouse.  If this is neglected, the passion slowly disappears and leads to disharmony.
  • Schedules:  If couples get very busy, they don’t have quality time together and this is not healthy.
  • Expectations: Unmet expectations can be a source of major conflicts and fights.
  • Irreconcilable Differences: If one cannot accept the habits or traits of the partner and no one wants to embrace changes, this can cause to separation.
  • In-laws: Most in-laws can cause stress to a marriage especially when you live with them. It is even more traumatic if you live with a monster-in-law.

Conflict Management

Now that we know the common sources of conflict in a marriage, let’s now talk about the things that you can do to resolve conflicts.

  • Seek the guidance of the Lord. Pray hard together and ask for help. Make God the center of your relationship.  A family that prays together stays forever.
  • Learn the skill of communicating effectively.  Communication is one of the best ways to resolve a conflict or any misunderstanding.  After you have figured out what exactly the problem is, find time to talk to your wife or husband.  It doesn’t matter who does the first move.  If you want to save your relationship, forget about your pride and do the first move before WWIII is ignited.
  • Let your spouse talk and listen.  Agree to express or write down the things or aspects of your marriage that you enjoy the most.       After discussing them, talk about the negative aspects, those that make you unhappy.  Try to meet halfway through a good negotiation.
  • Stay calm as you talk.  Avoid raising your voice as you will not resolve anything.  It will just worsen the situation.  If you are at the peak of your anger, better not talk and wait until it’s gone.  This is the technique of conflict resolution.
  • Whatever step you take to solve the crisis, love and are must be manifested. Do everything that you can to settle your marital problems. If you can do it with just the two of you then do it.  But if you can’t, ask the guidance and advice of your parents and friends.
  • Be willing to forgive your spouse and forget whatever mistakes done. Learn your lesson.  Start anew and move forward. Hold on to your vows during your wedding.

The sooner you do something to solve your problems the better.  If you can talk about it overnight do it.  Don’t wait for sunrise without any reconciliation.  Understanding and forgiving are the vital keys for a successful marriage.


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